We all have low moods from time to time. For instance, if a relationship breaks up we may feel shocked, we may cry, go off our food, get angry and irritable, sleep poorly and get anxious. Usually, the mood passes after a few days and we get back to our normal way of living. We may say that we have been depressed. What I experienced was what doctors termed ‘clinical depression’ or major depression. It’s a more severe illness, which a person has had for at least a few weeks, affecting the body as well as the mind. Below are the symptoms, which I experienced. I have divided them into psychological and physical symptoms.


Psychological Symptoms of depression

* Loss of interest and pleasure in things you used to enjoy – I lost interest in everything, including things that I felt so passionately about, such as singing

* Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness

* Inappropriate guilt – My father had died from a bad fall and I felt guilty that I wasn’t around to save him

* Problems with thinking, concentration and attention – For example, I would read a couple of sentences from the newspaper and then not able to concentrate anymore

* Poor memory – By afternoon, I cannot recall what I did in the morning

* Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide – I kept thinking of my late father and those who passed away and that I had a terminal illness and will be going to join them soon. I kept telling my husband that life is meaningless and miserable.

* Overwhelming sadness and grief

* Depressed mood – Dispirited all day long

* Decreased ability to make decisions – Inability to make even simple decisions

* Lack of motivation - I lacked motivation and had trouble finishing any task on hand, even simple ones

* Becoming withdrawn – I withdrew from all social activities

* Preoccupation with negative thoughts – For example, whilst driving, I kept thinking I would meet with a terrible accident

* Self-blame – I blamed myself for bringing my children into this world to suffer

* Restlessness – I became restless every ten minutes

* Anxiety – experienced extreme difficulty in staying relax

Irrational fears and phobias - I suffered from panic attacks whenever I stepped out of my home. For example, the moment I was in the lift, I feared that the lift would break down. When I am on board a plane, I feared that the plane would crash

Delusions - I believed that I possessed supernatural powers and by staring into other people’s eyes long enough, I could control their minds

Hallucinations - I had all kinds of hallucinations and these included hearing voices and seeing things that did not exist. For example, I saw bean sprouts standing up as I ate a bowl of noodles.


Physical Symptoms of Depression

* Sleep problems - Insomnia, waking up early or sleeping too much. At one stage, I could go without sleep for three days in a row

* Decrease or increase in appetite - Lack of appetite or suddenly wanting to eat a lot

* Fatigue - Often feel tired

* Physical aches and pains - I suffered from stiff neck, backaches, etc.


If you or someone you know have such symptoms and lasting more than 2 weeks, it is best and wise to seek professional help immediately.